Are you one of the many who avoid church on Mother’s Day? Many people find the day set aside to celebrate all things ‘Mom’ to be emotionally painful. Maybe you’ve lost your mom or your relationship is complex, or you didn’t have a mom, not one in the real sense. There’s a lot of hurting people who feel conflicted about this holiday. There’s a lot of moms who could take or leave it too.

It’s odd that on a day to celebrate and thank mothers, there’s so much pressure on us to be thankful and appreciate whatever gifts, well-wishes, or appreciation comes our way. Most often, I’m of the mind that if the person giving you the well-wishes, gifts, or acknowledgement meant it kindly, then even if it’s something you didn’t want, you ought to be a cheerful receiver. But that’s as far as I’d push it. You’re under no obligation to force yourself to feel good about a random day on the calendar. I’m here to let you know that you have permission to feel ‘meh.’

You don’t have to be the smiling, beaming with happiness, perfect mom. If you’re not feeling it, it’s okay to accept your gifts and well-wishes kindly and then go take a nap. Give yourself a break. If mother’s day was run by the moms instead of the husband/kids the traditional gifts would probably be naps, brunch, and reading a book in peace. Or maybe a solo shopping trip with a guilt-free gift card.

On this Mother’s Day, take pressure off and give yourself permission to feel however you feel. Take a day off from being SuperMom and give yourself a chance to relax. No expectations. Happy Mother’s Day indeed.